About Me
I'm Harrison - a food, cleansing, juice, zen, locally sourced, organic, travel, 30 day, worldwide, #empowered, gluten-free, renewable computer-science enthusiast and professional low-calorie blogger. Biodegradable. While I was eating, praying, and loving I discovered the power of sustainable positivity and hand-picked millennial-ism. This is how I discovered my #goals for juicing around the world using only the finest, most delicious, organic, all-natural juice-makers that are both affordable and delicious! I hope to share these amazing, fun, streamlined, free-run, pumpkin-spice, and overall liquifiying experiences with the whole wide world so that the whole wide world can experience itself, just like me!
I am an avid latte-artist who loves to chillax after long days spent sorting through my extensive phonograph cylinder collection and overseeing my large hydraulic fracking operation. Nothing in the entire world can compare to the sensation of sitting down after a long day with the swine flu in one hand and a cool frappe in the other. Once I achieve my goal of becoming entirely carbon-neutral, I will finally be able to take that stay-cation I've been dreaming of.
We've ALL been on google, searching for either weather, or translate, or maps, or news, or calculator, or g, or youtube to mp3, or dictionary, or f, or translator, or restaurants near me, or movies, or speed test, or cheap flights, or horoscopes, or unblocked games, or solitaire, or mortgage calculator, or games, or map, or love quotes, or restaurants, or social security, or spanish translator... but what are we REALLY searching for? Can many of us say that we're genuinely committed to "pill identifier" or "earth day quiz"? I doubt it. Maybe we're all just searching for something simple- something that we all possess intuitively. Something that is so basic that its been right before our eyes this entire time. Something like "periodic table"???
With my middle name of Electronic Voting Machine (or EVM for short), I have had a hard time riding the big wave when it comes to cooking competitions. What can I say- when your main goal is to "get amped aggro shredding some gnarly muchachoes" and to "make fun of frubes and hodads while catching some choka tube", all while "getting noodled" it's hard not to be legitimately radical.
As a veteran snow groomer, I have seen it all when it comes to corduroy. This invaluable experience is what landed me my position as lead editor at Teen Vogue (TM) in 1978. After my unfortunate laughter-induced denture-projection mishap in the office, I was promoted to editor in chief of Elderly Vogue (TM). I soon left this position to focus on my main life-pursuit: being 16 years old. It has taken years to achieve, but I think I'm finally getting close.
After attending the 9th World Bridge Championship of 1994, in Albuquerque, New Mexico, I could't look at a deck of cards the same way (or even see any homonym of "deck" the same way), be it a a structure of planks or plates, a component or unit in sound-reproduction equipment, a pack of cards, to decorate or adorn brightly or festively (in bows of holly, for example), or to knock (someone) to the ground with a punch.
With one foot 20 miles from the bayou, and the other foot deeply entrenched in the soft, sweet, and lyrical vocal stylings of Mel Tormé, I have developed a wide range of hip mobility. With propaganda posters ranging from "loose hips do splits" to "become a nurse: your country needs you", I quickly rose to the top of the New York advertising firm "Omnicom Group" before orchestrating the failure of the Publicis/Omnicom merger in 2014. Immediately following this series of events, I nearly swore vengeance against criminals in an oath tempered by a sense of justice (almost training myself physically and intellectually crafting a bat-inspired persona), but I thought better of it. These days, my day-to-day varies greatly, making my day-to-day not much of a day-to-day. find a casino for pay-to-play.
Now it's time for the audience participation part of the about-me:
When you read "Hot", you say "Dogs" (out loud)! Hot .... Hot .... Hot .... Hot ....
Press:
The New York Tooms:
"[He] is a fountain of youth. With no single shred of self respect, this kinktastic individual will surely surprise you. He even plastered and repainted my office during this interview!"
The New Yurter:
"Your application has been rejected. This job application is open to comic artists only, please read the requirements before applying."
The New York Toast:
"With basically zero renown and public recognition, I'm shocked that we're writing about him!"
The Queens Gillette(TM)"
"No, our offices don't have a public restroom. This is private property."
The New York Daily Pews:
"Today we will be taking a look at the Church of St. Vincent Ferrer, on the corner of Lexington and 65th. Is this oak?"
Vetro New York:
"I have a free Megabus ticket to New York! I'm giving it away! Free!"
The Queen's Conical:
"Just listen: we have proof! The Queen IS conical!"
The Queen's Lagoon:
"Just listen: we have proof! The Queen IS a lagoon!"
your mom:
"[Harrison is] a carefully blended mix of misinformation, references that are impossible to understand out of context, and the occasional tidbit of actual information"
I am an avid latte-artist who loves to chillax after long days spent sorting through my extensive phonograph cylinder collection and overseeing my large hydraulic fracking operation. Nothing in the entire world can compare to the sensation of sitting down after a long day with the swine flu in one hand and a cool frappe in the other. Once I achieve my goal of becoming entirely carbon-neutral, I will finally be able to take that stay-cation I've been dreaming of.
We've ALL been on google, searching for either weather, or translate, or maps, or news, or calculator, or g, or youtube to mp3, or dictionary, or f, or translator, or restaurants near me, or movies, or speed test, or cheap flights, or horoscopes, or unblocked games, or solitaire, or mortgage calculator, or games, or map, or love quotes, or restaurants, or social security, or spanish translator... but what are we REALLY searching for? Can many of us say that we're genuinely committed to "pill identifier" or "earth day quiz"? I doubt it. Maybe we're all just searching for something simple- something that we all possess intuitively. Something that is so basic that its been right before our eyes this entire time. Something like "periodic table"???
With my middle name of Electronic Voting Machine (or EVM for short), I have had a hard time riding the big wave when it comes to cooking competitions. What can I say- when your main goal is to "get amped aggro shredding some gnarly muchachoes" and to "make fun of frubes and hodads while catching some choka tube", all while "getting noodled" it's hard not to be legitimately radical.
As a veteran snow groomer, I have seen it all when it comes to corduroy. This invaluable experience is what landed me my position as lead editor at Teen Vogue (TM) in 1978. After my unfortunate laughter-induced denture-projection mishap in the office, I was promoted to editor in chief of Elderly Vogue (TM). I soon left this position to focus on my main life-pursuit: being 16 years old. It has taken years to achieve, but I think I'm finally getting close.
After attending the 9th World Bridge Championship of 1994, in Albuquerque, New Mexico, I could't look at a deck of cards the same way (or even see any homonym of "deck" the same way), be it a a structure of planks or plates, a component or unit in sound-reproduction equipment, a pack of cards, to decorate or adorn brightly or festively (in bows of holly, for example), or to knock (someone) to the ground with a punch.
With one foot 20 miles from the bayou, and the other foot deeply entrenched in the soft, sweet, and lyrical vocal stylings of Mel Tormé, I have developed a wide range of hip mobility. With propaganda posters ranging from "loose hips do splits" to "become a nurse: your country needs you", I quickly rose to the top of the New York advertising firm "Omnicom Group" before orchestrating the failure of the Publicis/Omnicom merger in 2014. Immediately following this series of events, I nearly swore vengeance against criminals in an oath tempered by a sense of justice (almost training myself physically and intellectually crafting a bat-inspired persona), but I thought better of it. These days, my day-to-day varies greatly, making my day-to-day not much of a day-to-day. find a casino for pay-to-play.
Now it's time for the audience participation part of the about-me:
When you read "Hot", you say "Dogs" (out loud)! Hot .... Hot .... Hot .... Hot ....
Press:
The New York Tooms:
"[He] is a fountain of youth. With no single shred of self respect, this kinktastic individual will surely surprise you. He even plastered and repainted my office during this interview!"
The New Yurter:
"Your application has been rejected. This job application is open to comic artists only, please read the requirements before applying."
The New York Toast:
"With basically zero renown and public recognition, I'm shocked that we're writing about him!"
The Queens Gillette(TM)"
"No, our offices don't have a public restroom. This is private property."
The New York Daily Pews:
"Today we will be taking a look at the Church of St. Vincent Ferrer, on the corner of Lexington and 65th. Is this oak?"
Vetro New York:
"I have a free Megabus ticket to New York! I'm giving it away! Free!"
The Queen's Conical:
"Just listen: we have proof! The Queen IS conical!"
The Queen's Lagoon:
"Just listen: we have proof! The Queen IS a lagoon!"
your mom:
"[Harrison is] a carefully blended mix of misinformation, references that are impossible to understand out of context, and the occasional tidbit of actual information"